Befriending Anger

Anger, much like happiness, joy and love, is a natural emotion. Yet, why do we tend to view it differently? It seems we readily accept feelings like frustration or disappointment, which often stem from anger, but hesitate to confront anger itself.

This avoidance, particularly common among women due to societal conditioning, prevents us from expressing our anger authentically. Instead, we push it into the shadow where it can manifest in unhealthy ways such as passive-aggressive behaviours, compulsions and giving without boundaries.

And many of us may not even realise that we have repressed anger. This could be because we fear identifying as someone angry, which may challenge our self-perception. Or we may worry that expressing anger could lead to the withdrawal of love from others. It’s also possible that we lack the self-awareness or understanding of our past experiences to recognise this pattern within ourselves.

Anger often serves as a signpost to deeper emotional wounds. It is a signal that there is underlying hurt or pain that needs attention and healing. When we experience anger, it’s not just the surface emotion we need to address; it’s also the underlying hurt that requires acknowledgement and care. By recognising anger as a messenger of deeper emotional pain, we can begin to explore the root causes of our feelings and work towards healing those wounds. This understanding allows us to approach anger with compassion and curiosity, rather than simply reacting to it with frustration or avoidance.