Navigating Emotional Release
In trainings and workshops, I've observed individuals going into catharsis - an extreme release of emotions - during release exercises or bodywork. While catharsis can be powerful, it often leads to overwhelm or withdrawal. This is why I prefer to guide individuals to stay in a calm state while releasing, a space often referred to as the "Window of Tolerance."
Window of Tolerance
The "Window of Tolerance" is our emotional sweet spot. It's where we're alert yet calm, able to process experiences without becoming overwhelmed. Outside this window lie two states:
1. Hypo Arousal (Shutdown): Feeling numb, disconnected, or frozen.
2. Hyper Arousal (Fight/Flight): Feeling anxious, panicky, or angry.
The Power of Tracking
'Tracking' is a powerful tool for staying within your Window of Tolerance. It involves tuning into your body's subtle (and not-so-subtle) cues to gain insights into your emotional state.
I've found tracking particularly useful in my romantic relationship. Articulating what I'm feeling, especially when conflict is building can help me to stay centred and also soften the emotional field.
How to Practice Tracking
1. Focus on your breath, noticing its rhythm and depth.
2. Scan your body from head to toe, noting any sensations.
3. Pay attention to your heart rate, stomach feelings, and posture.
4. Notice any impulses or urges you're experiencing.
Common Physical Cues
Anxiety - Rapid heartbeat, shallow breathing, sweating, trembling or shaking, tension in shoulders and neck
Anger - clenched jaw or fists, flushed face, increased body temperature, tightness in the chest, rapid breathing
Sadness - heaviness in the chest or heart area, lump in the throat, drooping shoulders, fatigue or lack of energy, aches in the body
Fear - goosebumps, cold sweats, tightness in the stomach, dry mouth, dilated pupils
Shame - hunched posture, desire to physically shrink or hide, flushed face and neck, averted gaze, tension in the gut
Recognising Hypo and Hyper Arousal
As you practice tracking, you'll become more adept at recognising when you're leaving your Window of Tolerance.
Techniques for Returning to the Window of Tolerance
For Hypo Arousal (Shutdown):
- Move your body: Jump, shake, dance, or stretch
- Make sounds
- Speed up and deepen your breath
For Hyper Arousal (Fight/Flight):
- Take slow, deep breaths
- Slow down your movements
- Brush your hands down your arms, repeating "safe, peace, hope, calm"
- Meditate
- Stroke your throat gently while humming
Remember, the goal isn't to avoid Hypo or Hyper Arousal states entirely - they're natural responses. Instead, aim to recognise when you're leaving your Window of Tolerance and use these tools to guide yourself back. With practice, this approach allows for deeper, more sustainable emotional release and personal growth.
This week, try practising the body scan exercise daily. Notice how your awareness of your emotional state improves over time.
