Letting Go of the Story
We all experience emotions, but often, we attach stories to them, narratives that define what happened, why it happened, and who is responsible. While stories can provide context, they can also prevent us from fully processing our emotions and moving forward.
Emotions Are Just Sensations
At their core, emotions are simply sensations in the body. When we label emotions as “sadness,” “anger,” or “anxiety,” we create a story around them, which can either help or hinder our ability to process them. Sometimes, naming an emotion allows us to acknowledge and feel it. Other times, our narratives keep us stuck in a loop of blame and regret.
The Role of Stories in Emotional Processing
We naturally seek explanations for our feelings. However, our minds are wired for confirmation bias; we find evidence to support whatever story we tell ourselves, even if it contradicts a previous narrative. This is why blaming others or ourselves often fails to bring true resolution. On a spiritual level, blame isn’t helpful; it only reinforces suffering.
Instead of focusing on fault, we can recognise that every moment unfolds based on a complex interplay of past experiences, conditioning, and personal history. When we understand that everything that happens is shaped by all that came before it, we begin to release the need to assign blame.
A Strategy for Releasing Stories
Byron Katie’s “turnaround” technique is a valuable tool for freeing ourselves from rigid narratives. The idea is to challenge our original story by finding evidence for its opposite.
For example, if your story is “He hurt me,” explore its opposites:
“I hurt him.” Can you find ways in which your actions or words may have contributed to the situation?
“I hurt myself.” Did you allow certain behaviours or stay in a situation that wasn’t healthy for you?
“He helped me.” Is there any way this experience led to personal growth or awareness?
When we explore different perspectives, we loosen the grip our stories have on us. This opens the door to asking, “Who am I without this story?” and experiencing the freedom that comes with releasing attachment to a single narrative.
Choosing Freedom Over Being Right
Ultimately, we must decide: Would we rather be right or be free? Holding onto a story may validate our perspective, but it often comes at the cost of our peace. By setting aside the narrative, we allow ourselves to fully process our experiences, move through emotions, and embrace a more vibrant, alive version of ourselves.
The next time you find yourself stuck in a story, pause and ask: Is this story helping me heal, or is it keeping me trapped? If it’s the latter, consider turning it around and stepping into a new perspective, one that leads to growth, freedom, and deeper self-awareness.
