The Science Behind Why We Get Hooked on Feelings
Think of your brain as a complex chemical factory. When you experience intense emotions - whether it's the thrill of a new project, the rush of anger, or even the comfort of familiar sadness - your brain releases powerful chemicals like dopamine and endorphins. These are the same feel-good messengers that make us enjoy food, exercise, and connection.
But here's where it gets interesting: Just like some people might crave chocolate or the runner's high, we can develop a dependency on specific emotional states. Our brains can become "addicted" to the chemical cocktail that certain feelings produce.
This helps explain why some of us:
- Unconsciously create drama in otherwise stable situations
- Feel uncomfortable with calm periods in our lives
- Find ourselves repeatedly drawn to intense relationships
- Feel oddly empty when things are "too peaceful"
The brain's reward system works like a learning machine - it remembers what made us feel intense emotions and encourages us to repeat those experiences. This can create a challenging cycle: the more we engage in emotionally charged situations, the more our brain craves them.
Even stress, through the release of cortisol, can become oddly addictive. Ever notice how some people seem to thrive in high-pressure situations or miss the stress when it's gone? That's this mechanism at work.
To break free from these emotional cycles requires more than just awareness - it demands a willingness to examine ourselves deeply and gradually rewire our responses. If you're curious to uncover your cycles of behaviour, here are some approaches I've found valuable:
Existential Kink method for understanding self-created suffering
Value-aligned action
Self-inquiry through questions like:
What patterns do I keep repeating or am stuck in?
How do these patterns make me feel?
What benefits do I gain from them?
What thoughts underlie these patterns?
Who would I be if these patterns were no longer an issue?
What would be difficult about that?
Get in touch if you have any questions or would like help breaking your own cycles.
